Monday, December 22, 2008

What More do we Need?

Well this is it. My first blog. And my first blog post. December 22, 2008 is truly the day when I start, or should I say, re-start to state my opinions on the quirkiness of human behaviour. Okay, so maybe I can just really do this in public - gee what was it really like before 'blog' became a household term, and a socially acceptable way to voice your opinions without thinking that you could too much flack about it.

But I digress. It seems fitting that for my first post I would comment on a something that keeps cropping up everywhere in our society. And seeing that Christmas is right around the corner, the aspect of 'needing' is very prominent. Need ... it is an interesting word ... with many connotations. Over the past several days, I have heard many people use it - I 'need' to cook my Christmas dinner (OK, not bad, but acceptable), I 'need' to please everyone (OK, hang on a minute here), I 'need' to have that cup of coffee (do you?) I 'need' to have 5000 friends on Facebook, so please add me [I don't know you from a hole in the ground, but hey, add me anyway] (now really, do you REALLY 'need' to have 5000 strangers that you can call friends, just because you are hung up on a number?) Get Freakin' Real!

We choose our vocabulary with great interest, much of which we don't think about when we use it. Need is a word that denotes something of necessity and lack, has a demand attached to it, and has an unhappiness or dissatisfaction for something connected to it. Need is judgment word. Needing something means that underneath it all, there is a belief that something does not exist or is missing.

In my opinion, there are few things in life that we really truly 'need'. We need shelter, and food and water to survive or else our bodies will not function - umm ... that's really about it. Everything else - we want, we choose to have, not have, do, or get. That's it. And I'm sure you are chomping at the bit right now as you read this, sputtering, 'but, but, what about money, love, abundance, self-esteem, affection, respect - I need those!" Well, yes, those are all important things ... but they are truly not 'needs', and especially not 'needs' that others can or will fulfil. If you feel that you really need these things, then you believe inside of yourself that you lack it. Typically though we look outside of ourselves to find that 'thing' that will fulfil the need: we look to others to change their behaviours, or supply us with something that make us 'feel' more needed (but doesn't get rid of the need).

The bottom line here is this: most 'needs' are not really needs. They are wants, desires, and also choices that we make or can make, whether we are aware of them or not. We want 5000 friends on Facebook because that feeds into an ego belief that the more friends we have the better off we will be. We choose to cook Christmas dinner for umpteen people and get angry and resentful in the process of doing it, because somewhere there is an inner belief that says 'if I don't, someone will not approve or be happy with me', so I better do it even if it makes me unhappy and crabby".

Here's a thought: what if we actually changed that word 'need' and called it for what it really was? What if we actually thought about what we said - would this really make a difference in our perspectives, and actions?

What if we showed ourselves respect, instead of 'thinking' we 'need' it from others? What if we showed ourselves that we can love ourselves, instead of demanding the others show or prove it to us? What if we chose to feel grateful and abundant within ourselves without asking other people to tell us directly?

And hey, what if you really didn't NEED anything at all - because everything inside of you already existed to draw on - love, abundance, yes money, and all the resources and tools to use, respect, etc..? Chew on that one for a while.

I don't know about you all - but after all of that, I think I really need a Vente, No-Foam, Half-Calf, Soy, Caramel Macchiato with Chocolate Sprinkles.



Katja said...

Hey. "Get Freakin' Real." Well I hear you say that alot so I suppose it must work to its potentials.


WordyGirl said...

Welcome to the blogosphere! Great first post. I often think about the absurdity of the word "need" as it is used by others around me, and yes, by myself as well. You make some great points! I look forward to reading more of your rants :-)

IndigoCrystalCoach(tm) said...

Yes, we are all 'humanly' guilty of using that word rather erroneously :-)

Adela said...

Love it, on the same page, not a big surprise. I led a teleclass series Oct/Nov on "Evolving the Paradigm of Needs."

I hear you sister! Sing it loud.